“I once had to pick up a mouse by the tail that Durbin refused to pick up,” complained Senator Charles E. Schumer of New York, referring to his roommate Senator Richard J. Durbin of Illinois.

This characterization is not fair to Mr. Durbin, interjected another tenant in the Capitol Hill row house, Representative Bill Delahunt of Massachusetts. For starters, it overlooks Mr. Durbin’s gift for killing rats. “He will kill them with his bare hands,” Mr. Delahunt marveled.

“Oh, will you stop with the rats,” said the annoyed fourth roommate, Representative George Miller of California. He owns the house and is sensitive to any suggestion that he harbors pestilence. It’s dicey enough that he harbors politicians.

So, is there any hope that this will be turned into a real TV show? Probably not:

“Everybody in the world says they’re going to do a television series based on us,” said Mr. Durbin, who was collapsed on the couch on a recent Monday night. Still in a tie, he sipped ice water from a massive Chicago Cubs cup while waiting for the Chinese food to arrive.

“But then they realize that the story of four middle-aged men, with no sex and violence, is not going to last two weeks,” he said. The prevailing topics of their discussions are grandchildren and Metamucil, he added.

“Hey, speak for yourself, Durbin,” Mr. Delahunt said, protesting the claim of no sex and violence.

“There is a lot of violence in here,” Mr. Schumer said.

In fact, the roommates have never resorted to violence, at least with one another. (Crickets are another story.) Their weapons are verbal, and often aimed at Mr. Schumer, who admits to a serious dereliction of roommate duties, like grocery shopping. He is also prone to a blatant disregard for conserving a most precious household resource, cereal.

This is one of my favorite newspaper stories of all time.

They’re oddly silent about the fact that there’s been an obvious mass exodus taking away half of their authors. I’m curious if there’s some dispute with Sean Bonner and the larger Metroblogging sphere? The lack of pronouncement is puzzling. It’s vaguely Violet Blue-ish in its awkward silence.

So, did someone insult someone? Is someone not getting paid enough? What’s going on at MetBlogs people?

Like I said, this is likely of interest to almost nobody.

UPDATE: Two more gone – Brittany and Wayan. Is there going to be anybody left at the end of the day? The DC Metblog is starting to look like a hollow shell of a website.

That being said, Sean Bonner and Tom Bridge were both kind enough to respond indicating that there’s no mysterious plot or internal power struggle or really ANYTHING interesting going on. Still, it’s going to be sad to see what will likely be sparse posting at the formerly lively site.

FROM: [Assistant Dan]
TO: All Students, All Faculty and Staff
DATE: Thu, May 8, 2008 at 4:57 PM
SUBJECT: Smoking

Today the Law Center had its second mulch fire this spring due to a discarded cigarette. If you smoke please do so in the smoking areas where ashtrays are provided. Please use the ashtrays. These smoking areas include the east side of Williams patio; the library quad; the northwest side of McDonough podium; the center of the Tower Green; the alley behind the Fitness center.

The University’s policy for a smoke free work place prohibits smoking at the entrances to the buildings. You need to move at least 20 feet from the building entrance before lighting up. Thanks for your cooperation on this.

Assistant Dean
Georgetown University Law Center
600 New Jersey Avenue NW
Washington DC

Let it be known, “the alley behind the Fitness center” is where a homeless man was stabbed two years ago. Smoke up!

Here’s the map that helpfully lets us know where we can smoke without starting a mulch fire, marked with big smiley faces!

Click to big-ify

Yes, the box is full of books. Click to big-ify.

I know ONE door that’s going to be passing the bar.

And is that Tom Skerritt sitting next to Naziville? Who would have expected it?

From here. I like that Washington, D.C. maintains a relatively high price for female sex workers, but a very low price for male sex workers. Does politics attract mostly straight men, thereby destroying the demand for male sex workers? That seems unlikely. Is it possible that DC in fact draws so many gay men that there’s no need for a cash-based underground market? I have no way of knowing. I wish someone would investigate this further.

International rates are also available (Dubai is expensive, and a number of cities managed to secure a negative price for male sex workers, which I don’t understand).